


Osiris In His Silent Tomb

by kaulayau



Series: Bright Red/Silver Dust (Last Words of a Shooting Star) [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, who da hell is bucky???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 16:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14814473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaulayau/pseuds/kaulayau
Summary: And a semi-stable one-hundred-year-old man.





	Osiris In His Silent Tomb

**Author's Note:**

> Eight down, I'm not entirely sure how many to go! So far, this has been quite the fun, emotional ride. Thank you all so, so much for your wonderful comments and kudos, and — 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

He’s not a good person. All this time and — God, everyone in this beautiful country is good — Wakanda seems to thrive in its newfound kindness — they’ve done everything he can’t afford without expecting him to repay — and he isn’t good.

 _Steve_ is a good person. Steve is the definition of good. He may be short, scrawny, reckless — but he’s got more courtesy in his little finger than anyone else in America. He’s the only gentleman on the planet. He’s the only saint there is.

But — God, he’s stupid. He’s so stupid. He’s too small to punch his way out of everything, and he still tries. He looks at all the righteous battles in the world and chooses to fight all of them. It’s admirable, it’s what the universe _needs_ right now, but — _he’s_ always the one to pull Steve back, grab his arm, make sure he doesn’t kill himself or get drafted in the military when he’s five feet even. God, please, please, it’ll crush him, it’ll crush his spirit — he’s good because he sees good in everything, everyone, even his — best friend —

They met when they were thirteen — he thinks he was older, maybe fourteen — Steve had two dollars and two fists and it just wasn’t fair, he was smaller then those other kids — it _wasn’t fair_ —

Wait, no. No. He looks up — that’s not Steve. That’s not Steve anymore, and hasn’t been for a long time. This is a hero. He doesn’t need anyone pulling him back or grabbing his arm. He fights battles because he knows he’ll win. He doesn’t need — _him,_ metal arm, superhuman _—_ anymore. He never needed him. Steve was perfect, he was _good_ — all on his own. His spirit was always uncrushable.

Look at him. _Look_ at him. Bloody, beaten —Steve is good. He’s nothing but a stupid, stupid, good, good person. And — he won. Steve won, because — he’s stronger than all of them.

They had an apartment, he thinks — Steve was five feet even and he didn’t have a family anymore — he didn’t know what do — but he did — there was lamp in that apartment — just one lamp, and it was useless, it flickered —

But he — with his metal arm, with his superhuman rage — he — _he’s_ not a good person. He just — doesn’t qualify. There’s too much on his conscience to let him, or — maybe there’s just not enough. Ninety years, God, more than ninety years here, with countless gifts and — countless allies — God, when can he call them his friends — and he hasn’t done a single thing worth praising. That hasn’t moved since the beginnign. Nobody _cares_ about him, anyway. Nobody cares about him but — they’re all —

Peggy didn’t want to dance with him, but — she warmed up to him eventually — maybe more with Steve than him, he thinks — she likes to laugh at them — he doesn’t remember why, but — he thinks he laughed, too — she made Steve laugh — they’re alike, they’re compatible, the two of them — it was good to have — friends —

 _He’s_ changed, too. He wasn’t always — metal arm, superhuman. He doesn’t really remember everything before that. He doesn’t think he was any better. Even then, he was used up, but — that’s not the thing. That’s not the problem. He thinks was already empty to begin with, and — there’s not much to work with after that.

With age comes wisdom, yeah, but — he’s spent most of his time here stagnant.

What could have gone different? Maybe if they just stayed in Brooklyn —

If Steve was a coward, just for one second — just a _second,_ that’s all — no, no, wait, _he_ should have — he should have pulled him back or grabbed his arm — why did Steve do it? He _told_ him not to enlist — why didn’t he listen — he has never listened — if he didn’t enlist, then he wouldn’t jumped on that dead grenade because he thought it would save — he wasn’t there. He wasn’t there to pull Steve away. He should have been there to pull Steve away. What was going through his head?

Steve tried to save him. He tried to save him more than once, he thinks —

He can’t be a good person. _He_ , metal arm, superhuman, that’s all he is now — he’s can’t be a good person. There’s too much change in him, or not enough. He’s not even a person anymore. Monsters can’t enlist.

If he’s a monster, why did — what did — Steve, Steve, what did he _see?_

Steve isn’t Steve. Steve is — the first Avenger. Captain America. The man that holds back Captain America is the man against the world. The man that grabs the arm of a captain is — the villain. The villain is always defeated. Only one side can win a great, great war. And — no one cares. No one cares about _him, metal arm, superhuman_. No one cares about him but —

Steve. Where is he? Where did he — he better not be doing something — _Steve_.

Is he worth something then? Steve cares about him. He knows it, Steve cares about him. Steve is with him to the end of the line. One person, one person is all he has, one person is left — that’s enough, is it? That’s enough for him. At least one thing hasn’t changed. Or — it’ll change despite everything —

Steve wouldn’t kill him, on that flying ship. Nothing was the same. But — but before that — did that all — happen? Did it happen? Did he — change it, somewhere in his head? Was it — God, he doesn’t know. His mind is not what it once might have been. He cannot remember everything correctly.

Why? Why did he — why did they do it? Why are they — he doesn’t understand. Everything is — different. Or maybe it’s all the same as it was when it began.

He’s — exhausted. Hell. Hell, no one has ever pulled him back. No one really but —

“Steve?” With him till the end of the line.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking of writing on prompts! For literally anything you'd like!! If you all would like, or course. 
> 
> So if you want to see me write more, or something or anything XD, shoot me an ask on [tumblr](https://kaulayauwrites.tumblr.com/), @kaulayauwrites!!! 
> 
> Stay awesome, everyone, and keep looking up Infinity War prompts rather than studying


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